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Frequently asked questions for Bi+ Black Men
What is bisexual+ (bi+)?
Bisexual+ (Bi+) sexuality refers to the attraction (romantic, emotional, or sexual) to more than one gender. This umbrella includes identities such as bisexual, pansexual, fluid, omnisexual, and queer. People who identify as Bi+ may be attracted to the same gender and other genders, but that doesn’t mean they’re equally attracted to all genders, or that attraction is always expressed the same way. Bi+ people exist in all communities, though they’re often erased, misunderstood, or pressured to “pick a side,” especially in Black and LGBTQ+ spaces.
Is a bromance or a man crush considered "gay" or "bi" in some way?
Emotional closeness between men does not automatically define your sexuality. Brotherhood, admiration, vulnerability, and affection can exist without romantic or sexual attraction. What matters is how you experience attraction, intimacy, and connection, not what others assume.
Can I be bisexual if I have never had sex before?
Yes. You can be bisexual, pansexual, or demisexual even if you’ve never had sex, kissed anyone, or even been in a relationship.
Sexuality is about attraction, not experience. If you feel emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to more than one gender, that’s enough to identify as bi (or bi+, pan, fluid, etc.) no “proof” required. You get to define who you are—on your own timeline, at your own pace.
Am I gay, bi, queer, or pan if I enjoy different types of anal sexual sensations?
No. Liking anal sex doesn’t define your sexuality. Sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to, not what sex acts you enjoy. Enjoying anal stimulation (whether giving, receiving, or both) is about your body and pleasure, not your label.
How can I meet other bisexual, pansexual, or demisexual black men like me?
If you’re looking to meet other bisexual+ Black men, Bi+ Black Men is your home. We created this space to fight the erasure and isolation so many of us face. Join our private online community on the BAND app to connect in real time, join chatrooms (including NSFW if requested), and find support, friendship, or more. We also post empowering content daily on Instagram and host the Bi+ Black Men podcast, available on all platforms. Whether you’re out, questioning, or exploring. You’re not alone anymore.
Is it wrong if I don't want to come out or disclose my sexuality?
No, you don’t have to come out or disclose your sexuality unless you want to. Coming out is a personal choice, not a requirement. You are valid whether you’re out to the world, just a few people, or only yourself. Your sexuality is yours to name, own, and protect.
There are many reasons people choose not to come out: safety, family, culture, religion, mental health, or simply not wanting to explain themselves. That’s okay. Privacy is not shame. You are not hiding, you’re choosing what’s best for you. Your identity is valid. You get to decide.